Well, some stuff's gone down since you have been gone
Like that gaping hole that's in our front lawn.
Welcome home, Frank.
Welcome home.

No I can't explain all the clowns in the back
If he was still alive, I'd tell Robert Stack.
Welcome home, Frank.
Welcome home.

To answer your question, yes you can leave me alone for five minutes.
How can you say I'm to blame for all this. That's an awful way for you to spin it.

There's a skeleton in your dresser drawer.
I removed it once, but it's back for more
And the chupacabra in the doorway
Just came over for a cup of sugar. (Don't sweat that.)

There's some marmalade on your PS3.
On the plus side, I'd rather have a Wii.

Welcome home, Frank
Welcome home.

I can see in your eyes you're a touch unnerved. I can't blame you for that.
But don't take your problems out on me. Stop the rug-burning stat. Ow.

*instrum*
Welcome home, Frank.
Welcome home.

*instrum*
Welcome home, Frank.
Welcome home.

I think that I'm going to take my leave until you simmer down.
I won't be abused by your pitiful face. You are killing me with that frown.

The neighbor kid ate up all our food.
I informed him in writing that it was rude.

Welcome home, Frank.
Welcome home.

The lemur and the llama who are bothering your momma
They've come over for the drama and to eat all your bananas

Not my fault, Frank.
Welcome home.
Welcome home, Frank.
Welcome home.