Oh joy, oh rapture. A new movie comes out today!
It’s “The Revenge of Return of Toupeezilla 8”.
Ok, I saw it. It wasn’t as good as the first.
The writing’s fine, but the special effects were the worst.

I do not like the direction that Hollywood’s taken their monster effects.
Long gone are the days of the crafting and care of the images that they project.

Classic wig monsters
Not like the newfangled bullcrap
Classic wig monsters
Better than what’s under your hat
Classic wig monsters
Not ruined by modern CG
Classic wig monsters
Wipe that stuff off with a squeegee
Wig monsters were rad
Back when I was a lad

Back in the 80s, wig flicks had reached their widow’s peak.
Frightwig on Rug Street, a fine sample of fuzzy freaks.
It was so clever how they made toupees look undead
in mane attractions like Hellrazor and Evil Head.

Why do the bigwigs think they need computers for suspension of disbelief?
The miracle barbers from back in the day, they used actual shavings and teeth!

Classic wig monsters
Not like the newfangled bullcrap
Classic wig monsters
Better than what’s under your hat
Classic Wig Monsters

Not ruined by modern CG
Classic wig monsters
Wipe that stuff off with a squeegee
Wig monsters were rad
Back when I was a
Classic wig monsters
Bring on the beard of Rick Baker
Classic wig monsters
Not like today’s modern fakers
Wig monsters were wild
Back when I was a child