Back when I was a lad of 15 or so
I liked to keep my dial on the Fox Kids shows.
There was Eek the Cat, the pirate Mad Jack
Bobby's World and Animaniacs.

But one day I saw a thing I can't comprehend.
Something I never ever saw again.
A crossover nobody wanted to see.
I swear I saw on my TV:

Barney the Purple Ranger
It was freakin' nutty, he was reading to the Puttys.
Barney the Purple Ranger
It seemed very very wrong.
To hear him sing the theme song.
(Barney lah-lahs the Power Rangers theme song)

I thought for a moment I was on the wrong channel.
But I could see Jason there chilling in his flannel.
Seems Rita Repulsa and the mighty Lord Zedd
have kidnapped Baby Bop who they'd like to see dead.

So far, I'd have to say I was on the villains' side.
Plus it's hard to pretend that I didn't mind
Watching a giggling wiggling wriggling dino
fail so bad at martial arts that he looks like a wino.

Barney the Purple Ranger
Did I hallucinate this? Did I actually see it?
Barney the Purple Ranger
If it's a fever dream, then fine. So be it.

He'll never ever save Baby Bop
with arms too tiny to karate chop
He can't wear the helmet 'cause his head's gigantic.
Can't stand his antics. His moves are frantic.

I was gonna change the channel 'cause I was getting bored
but then he did a thing that couldn't be ignored
He called BJ and Sandy Duncan with his magical sword
And became the giant robot Idiot Zord

He fell over and destroyed a giant monster
He saved Baby Bop. Now a word from our sponsor.
I turned off the tube and I took a nap.
It's kind of hard to recover from that.

Barney the Purple Ranger
It was a show I couldn't unsee.
Barney the Purple Ranger
It's not on YouTube, so you'll have to trust me.

Barney the Purple Ranger
LAH LAH LAH LAH LAH
Barney the Purple Ranger
LAH LAH LAH LAH LAH
Barney the Purple Ranger-- A program that could not be stranger.